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M1:2446 — گفت خصم جانِ جان چون آمدم / بر سر جان من لگدها چون زدم
M1:2446
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The man, filled with instant regret, asks himself how he could have acted as an enemy to God and, in doing so, inflicted such violence upon his own spiritual self.
This couplet marks a dramatic turning point in the story of the harpist and his wife. After harshly rebuking his wife for her worldly concerns, the man is immediately overwhelmed with remorse. Rumi portrays this as a moment of spiritual awakening, where the man realizes his outburst was not just an argument with his spouse, but an act of hostility against the divine source of life itself—the "Soul of all souls" (jān-i jān).
His anger, he now sees, was self-destructive. In lashing out, he was metaphorically "kicking" his own soul, harming his spiritual state and severing his connection to the divine will. The preceding verse describes this regret as being as sharp and sudden as the remorse of a tyrant's henchman at the moment of death. His wife's complaint, which he had dismissed as mere nagging, is now understood as a divine signal or trial that he has failed. His cry is one of horror at his own spiritual blindness and the violence he has just inflicted upon himself.
- خصم
- Khasm: An adversary, opponent, or enemy. In this context, it signifies acting in opposition to the divine will.
- جانِ جان
- Jān-i jān: Literally 'the soul of the soul.' A quintessential Sufi term for the ultimate reality, the divine source of all life and consciousness; God.
- لگدها
- Lagadhā: Kicks (plural of lagad). Used here metaphorically to denote a violent, disrespectful, and self-harming action against one's own spiritual essence.
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