M6:1432 — مر پدر را گوید آن مادر جهار / که ز مکتب بچه‌ام شد بس نزار

Translation: That mother loudly tells the father: "My child has become very frail from school!" Meaning: This verse recounts an ignorant mother complaining to the father about her child's frailty from schooling; allegorically, it portrays the struggle between the nafs (lower self) and ʿaql (intellect) over the soul's education and the endurance of hardship on the path to perfection.

Among the profound teachings Rumi imparts in the Masnavi, one of the most vital is that certain forms of 'kindness' appear sweet and compassionate, yet are inherently destructive and sorrowful. This couplet (M6:1432) perfectly illustrates this point. Rumi presents a story of a mother who openly (jahār) complains to the father: "My child has become frail and sickly from being sent to school so much!" With resentment or malice, she implies that if the child were from another wife, the father would not inflict such hardship upon him. This mother views the child's well-being in terms of ease and evasion of schooling, rather than in the rigor of learning and discipline. She even perceives education as a misfortune befalling her child.

However, Rumi, in his customary fashion, immediately transcends the literal meaning to unveil a deeper allegory: "The mother is nafs, the father is generous ʿaql / Its beginning is constriction, its end a hundredfold expansion." Here, the mother symbolizes the nafs, our lower self, which is immersed in emotions and impulses, yearns for effortless comfort, and recoils from any form of spiritual discipline or hardship. The nafs constantly pulls us towards negligence and ease, protesting the soul's 'attendance at school' because it perceives the soul as becoming 'frail' and 'sickly' in this process. The father, conversely, symbolizes the 'generous ʿaql' (intellect), a noble and wise intellect endowed with foresight and prudence. The ʿaql understands that the soul's growth and perfection depend on enduring hardships and education, even if it initially appears to make the soul 'frail.'

This division between nafs and ʿaql has historical and philosophical roots. Philosophers like Aristotle held similar views, believing women to be dominated by emotions and deficient in intellect. While this view is not accepted today, and one cannot label women as 'deficient in intellect,' it serves a clear function in Rumi's allegorical literature. When Rumi quotes the Prophet's saying, "Akhiruhunna min ḥaythu akhirahunnā Allāh" (Put them behind you as God has put them behind you), he quickly reinterprets it to mean the nafs; that is, subjugate your nafs to the ʿaql, rather than literally denigrating women. So Rumi's intent, beyond gender, is to explain the internal human struggle.

It is for this reason that Rumi clearly states: "The mother's 'my dearest child' will bring you / Nothing but sorrow and regret." This means the ignorant and deceptive 'kindness' of the nafs ultimately yields nothing but grief and regret. The 'deception of the nafs' reveals itself in the long run. In contrast, "A father's slap is better than his halva (sweets)" is an old proverb that tells us the bitterness and hardship imposed by the ʿaql is far more beneficial than the fleeting and deceptive sweetness of the nafs. The path of ʿaql and spiritual journeying, though it may appear as 'constriction in the beginning,' undoubtedly leads to 'a hundredfold expansion' and countless breakthroughs in the end. This is a crucial principle in Rumi's mysticism: true felicity depends on obedience to the ʿaql and trampling over carnal desires, even if the nafs cries out, "This school has made me frail." We must not hand over the pure gold of our existence to the treacherous nafs, but rather entrust it to the ʿaql to be multiplied hundreds and thousands of times.

Key takeaways

• The false and ignorant 'kindness' of the nafs ultimately brings nothing but regret and sorrow.
• Intellect (ʿaql) symbolizes the father, who, through wisdom and foresight, seeks eternal felicity.
• The lower self (nafs) symbolizes the mother, desiring fleeting comfort and shying away from the soul's rigorous growth.
• Initial hardships on the path of discipline and spiritual journeying lead to great and lasting expansions.
• The dominance of ʿaql over nafs transforms initial constriction into genuine liberation and flourishing.
• Intellectual discipline and spiritual rigor, though bitter, are superior to the superficial and deceptive pleasures of the nafs.